Bless Your Dead Little Hearts

Warning! This article contains spoilers. Proceed at your own risk.

"Eight hundred miles, and every inch of it infested with bastards. We lost the horses to arrows and swords in the first week! It's absolutely bloody chaos out there! Humans fighting each other, night creatures gone mad, even vampire packs trying to set up kingdoms. There is literally no one between here and Braila who I don't want to murder."

— Carmilla

Bless Your Dead Little Hearts is the first episode of the third season, and the 13th episode overall, of the Netflix original series, Castlevania.

Synopsis[]

Alucard adjusts to his lonely new life, Belmont and Sypha pay a visit to an eerie and unusual town, and Carmilla returns home with a prize.

Plot[]

Dracula's Castle[]

Deep in the forest, everything seems calm. There's no hint of the horror that occurred a month ago. Alucard tries to adjust to his lonely new life, but he misses his friends, Trevor and Sypha.

Forest[]

Meanwhile, Trevor and Sypha are traveling by carriage through the forest in an attempt to fight the leftover night creatures, which they easily disperse.

Carmilla's Castle[]

Carmilla returns home. Meeting her are Lenore and Striga, who wonder what happened to their superior during her travel back home. Carmilla describes the horror that she witnessed, humans, vampires and night creatures clashing against each other to survive. But despite her recent failings, she has a plan to have it all. Dragging behind Carmilla's marching army is a battered and chained Hector, who now has become Carmilla's slave. The only reason he's still alive being because of his skills as a Forgemaster.

Once inside, Carmilla finally meets with her other sister, Morana, and like the others, she questions why Carmilla took so long. Annoyingly, she retells her tortuous journey back home as she is offered a drink of virgin's blood.

Meanwhile, Hector finds himself stripped of his garments and caged like an animal, where he's handed a moldy piece of bread and doused with ice-cold water.

Lindenfeld[]

In a small town, a mysterious man named Saint Germain is trying to buy some apples, when Trevor and Sypha arrive dragging a night creature behind their carriage. Trevor tries to collect a reward from the Judge for killing the night creatures attacking travelers, but before they can continue with the negotiations, three men –monks of the Priory– walk in. Their leader, prior Sala, is happy that Trevor killed the creature, as it betrayed Dracula. Sala's statement quickly puts Sypha on edge. The leader of the monks reveals that he knows Dracula is dead, much to the surprise of Sypha and the young Belmont, and that he wants to know who's responsible in order to punish them.

Before things could escalate, the Judge asked Sala to move along. After all the commotion, a merchant approaches Trevor; he wants to buy the creature's teeth, which the young Belmont quickly accepts. Afterward, he spots a bar and asks for a beer, which the barkeep gives for free for killing the creature. But before Trevor could fully enjoy his pint, he exhales that beer is better than sex, consequently landing him in trouble with Sypha.

Cast[]

Adetokumboh M'Cormack (Isaac), Rila Fukushima (Sumi), Tōru Uchikado (Taka) and Lance Reddick (Captain) are all credited, although none actually appear in the episode.

Quotes[]

– Alucard: (look at the Trevor and Sypha doll) What do you think, Trevor?
(imitating Trevor)"I think I hate everything and everybody, so I'm going to get drunk on beer that's been brewed in an old sheep carcass, and then I'm going to stick my tiny *** in a dead dog that I found in a ditch to make hate babies or something, because I am actually more stupid than mud."
(imitating Sypha) "You are a horrible, terrible person. And many other words for horrible and terrible, because I know all the words because I am smarter than everybody, and one day I will go back to live with my flea-bitten family in a cart, which makes me better than everyone, and you will all die in a fire. A big one."
Oh my God. I am losing my mind. It's only been a month... I think.

– Sypha: I think it might actually be a nice night for once.

– Trevor: I hope so. Your feet get so bloody cold at night.

– Sypha: (chuckles) Don’t they, though?

– Trevor: It’s supernatural. Like death, running up and down my leg.

– Sypha: Even I don’t want to be near them, and they’re attached to me.

– Sypha: Do you think we’ll make the next town before we lose the last of the light?

– Trevor: (lightheartedly.) With a bit of luck. If this doesn’t take too long.

– Sypha: Do we need to make more noise?

– Trevor: No. They can hear us.

– Sypha: (sighs) They need to hurry up. I’m hungry.

– Trevor: And I could use a drink. It should start any minute now.

– Trevor: Let them get in close and get confident.

– Sypha: (sighs) I know.

– Sypha: (overacting) Oh, no! Night creatures! Whatever shall I do? Out here alone with only brain-damaged servant who talks about nothing but beer? I am certainly doomed!

– Trevor: Oh God, not this again...

– Sypha: Doomed, I say! I am defenseless and frozen to my seat with fear!

– Trevor: Laying it on a little thick, aren't you, Sypha?

– Sypha: It's always easier when let them get in range. Four

– Trevor: Yep

– Sypha: Doomed

– Trevor: Really are.

– Sypha: Poor beasties.

– Trevor: So... I've been promoted from "brain-damaged servant," then.

– Sypha: Did you know that the original meaning of the word Belmont is "brain damaged servant?"

– Trevor: It is not.

– Lenore: We'd almost given up hope.

– Carmilla: Thirty *** days, Lenore. We were lucky to march for eight hours a night.

– Lenore: I'm sorry.

– Striga: Why were you marching? You were given horses for a reason.

– Carmilla: Well, you didn't give me immortal vampire horses of death, did you? Eight hundred miles, and every inch of it infested with bastards. We lost the horses to arrows and swords in the first week! It's absolutely bloody chaos out there! Humans fighting each other, night creatures gone mad, even vampire packs trying to set up kingdoms. There is literally no one between here and Braila who I don't want to murder.

– Striga: So what do you want to do first, Carmilla?

– Carmilla: I want to get in a bath for at least a day. And then I want you to bring a cartographer to my chambers. I may have a plan. (A captured Hector appears walking beaten and barefoot) Oh, yes. Striga. Take this to a cell and lock it up. Throw it food once a day.

– Striga: (sniff) What is it?

– Carmilla: It's a whining bag of **** that I would have happily have dropped in a ditch at any moment over the last month. But it is also a Forgemaster. So keep it alive. My plan include it.

– Striga: Take this to the western cellblock. Don't kill it. And throw some water over it. It stinks. (Hector gets dragged away) If there's nothing else urgent, I suggest we get you indoors and give you a proper welcome.

– Carmilla: Hmm. My sisters. I've spent the last ten days of that hell march wondering if I'd die of hunger or sheer bloody rage before I got home... and wondering if you'd still be waiting for me. Where's Morana?

– Lenore: She awaits us inside. Come on.

– Carmilla: There you are, Morana. It's good to see you again.

– Morana: You're late.

– Carmilla: Thirty days slogging through...

– Morana: To make terrible time. We stationed our forces within a day's ride of Braila. Where are the horses?

– Carmilla: Killed by insane humans with pointy sticks. And half a dozen packs of starving night creatures. And eaten. And every other *** thing. The plan couldn't have gone gone more wrong.

– Morana: You'll be wanting a drink, then.

Bless Your Dead Little Hearts

Contents